I don’t know why I feel these old emotions. I don’t want them. I don’t need them. It’s damaging my reality with the most important people in my life. One of them I used to love so badly and the one I’m in love with now. The mixed emotions clash and damage my perception of what love really is. It’s killing me. It is confusing me. Why must it hit me now? What about all the other times? I ask myself everyday why old feelings arise. She’s got somebody now, I’ve got somebody now. There is no sparks, no lights, nothing going on between us. So why am I doing this? I don’t know. I’m confused. Maybe it’s that saying “everyone wants something they can’t have.” maybe it’s that.. I have to stay away from you, as selfish as it is I’m hurting myself, letting myself fall into my own demise. After I can get over this clash of waves, I will come back to my old self. I’m sorry for doing this. I’m sorry for the confused human being I am.